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Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Cold Hard Rants presents Positive Thinking

For the past number of months I have been (sporadically) regaling my loyal reading audience with my rants, usually of the angry variety, as rantings are wont to be, as it relates to the NHL. Well, in an effort to prevent the pre-conceived notion from developing that I am nothing but a critic (and as we all know, it is easier to be a critic), this column will be nothing but positive things relating to the NHL. Perhaps it’s the beautiful lunar eclipse occurring outside, or maybe the cold weather has frozen me in a positive feeling, but whatever its reason, here is a list of positive things relating to the NHL:

1) I’m thankful to the NHL for putting teams in outposts like Atlanta, Carolina, Nashville, Miami and Tampa Bay. Without doing so, these cities would be woefully unprepared in case home freezers could no longer perform their complicated duties
2) I’m thankful to Gary Bettman for performing his job so woefully, as without his incompetence, hockey’s popularity would have increased and there would be even more hockey on TV thus preventing me from maximizing my usefulness
3) I’m thankful Bettman did everything in his power to remove a team from Winnipeg, thus ensuring I can not spend recklessly on Jets tickets and assorted paraphernalia
4) I’m thankful the CBC still employs Don Cherry. In society, when we are doing everything in our power to eliminate xenophobia, it’s refreshing that the CBC still employs someone not afraid to appeal to everyone’s base prejudices and pre-conceived notions of people
5) I’m thankful the NHL hasn’t clearly established rules for the shoot-out. It’s only been 3 years already. Controversy puts butts in the seats.
6) I’m thankful that hockey, a game best appreciated for it’s speed, has now slowed to a crawl thanks to all the stoppages for TV timeouts, radio timeouts, web-cast timeouts, and live-blog timeouts. It’s nice that the NHL is stretching games out over a longer time period so paying customers feel they are getting their money’s worth. Considerate, really.

So, as you can see there are many things to be thankful for as a hockey fan. And next time someone accuses me of being a jaded, bitter hockey fan this article will prove differently. What are some of the things in the NHL you are positive about/thankful for? Feel free to comment below, and broaden my horizons.

For Illegal Curve, I am Andrew M.

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